My Gardenia Experience
by LuxaLovesLawnmowers
Summary: Based off a dream I had, meet my OC, Luxa, Gimli, Commander Root from Artemis Fowl, and Ren Maaka from Chibi Vampire as they go off and meet an unexpected foe and a kind-of expected friend.


Disclaimer- I don't own it if you know it.

Ok, guys, Ren Maaka is this hot dude from Chibi Vampire, and Commander Root is from Artemis Fowl.

This was a dream I actually had, and everything I wrote happened in the dream. Seriously.

I'm worried you guys won't like it, just cause I'm pessimistic, so tell me what you think! PLEASE!

So review.

* * *

I am, for all intensive purposes, Luxa. And I, for all intensive purposes, just woke up in a room completely covered in metal. Including a metal straightjacket. And I have no idea how.

* * *

Anyway, Luxa (me), decided to escape. She slipped out of the supposedly foolproof straightjacket. She walked to the door and turned to metal handle. "Well, that was ridiculously easy." she said aloud.

She walked outside and discovered that she had woken up in a mansion. Pretty carpet and everything. She cautiously turned the corner and found…

Well, whatever she had been expecting, it wasn't this. It appeared to be an extremely Goth version of herself grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Oh, and one other thing. She was holding a large knife.

"I've been expecting you." said Goth Luxa.

"That was really cliché." said Regular Luxa.

"Shut up." said Goth Luxa.

"Can I leave now?" said Regular Luxa.

"No." said Goth Luxa.

Reg. Luxa decided to make a break for the door. G. Luxa blocked, grinning maniacally. Reg. Luxa kicked out at her, knocking the knife out of her hand. They both lunged for it, and Reg. Luxa ended up with the knife. She hurled it out of the window, breaking the glass.

"That was stupid." commented G. Luxa.

"Why?" asked Reg. Luxa.

G. Luxa pulled out another knife.

Reg. Luxa pointed at the door. "I'm just gonna leave now."

G. Luxa shrugged, and Reg. Luxa tiptoed past her, her heart pounding. She walked down the staircase, fully expecting to be stopped. She passed a cute sandy haired guy, and waved. He waved, smiling pleasantly, then started to chase her. She ran out the front doors, looking for some place of refuge. She saw a blue convertible and jumped inside. There stood a short guy with a reddish hair and beard, and little man with a red face and smelly cigar hovering in the passenger seat and driving was a sulky-looking teenager with green hair. She didn't know how, but she recognized them as Gimli, son of Gloin, Commander Julius Root of The Lower Elements Police, and Ren Maaka Without a word, they nodded and she hid beneath a seat while the sandy-haired cute guy came out of the mansion. He walked up to them.

"Hi I'm Sam." said Sam. "Have you seen a girl with hair and eyes walk by here?"

"No, I don't think so." grunted Gimli. "I saw a bald one though. She went that way." He didn't indicate which way "that way" was.

"I don't care about her. Have you seen one with hair?"

"No, I can't say I have."

Luxa, from under her seat, relaxed.

Sam scowled. "Are you sure?"

"Yep."

"Seriously sure?"

"Mmm-Hmm."

This continued for about two hours. Poor Commander Root, who was shielding, was perhaps vibrating a little faster than usual because he really, really had to pee. Our little Ren fell asleep at some point, snoring softly in an extremely hot way, because Ren really is just that hot.

After some time, Gimli convinced Sam that he had not seen Luxa (even though he had).

Sam left, and after making a bathroom stop, Luxa, Gimli, and Commander Root were on the road in the blue convertible with Ren as the driver. None of them seemed to know where they where going until they got there. And when they got there, it turned out to be New Mexico.

Once in New Mexico, Ren paid for a hotel room, and it was a good deal, considering the hotel room had an awesome PC in it that you could order off of for free. You could buy anything you wanted, from Harry Potter merchandise to candy. It all came out, fully sized, in a printer.

It was cool, and they had fun messing with it.

Anyway, the next day our little group decided to go explore New Mexico. They soon came upon a maze made up of REALLY GREEN HEGDES (A/N: those caps may seem unnecessary , but if you've been to New Mexico, you know almost nothing grows there).

They enter the maze, ad Luxa saw something on the ground. It was round, and red and white, with a little button in the middle. Once again, Luxa used her powers of deduction and realized it was a Pokeball. She pressed the button, and out came…

"What the hell it that?" muttered Root.

Ignoring Root, Luxa stared at the "Pokemon" . It was a basset hound. Pokemon wasn't the right word. Maybe…Pokedog? Whatever. She put the Pokedog back in the Pokeball and the continued into the maze.

Apparently this place was a Pokemaze , because they had to battle several Pokemon. When her Pokedog got too tired, Root would either blast it out of the way, or Ren would sick his fangs in it. Either way, they won every battle. At least she caught a Pidgey. Well, a Vampire Pidgey, thanks to Ren.

Eventually they made it to the end of the maze. They saw a Pokeball, a figure shrouded in darkness, and a portal. Luxa picked up the Pokeball. It was a shiny Ponyta, maybe level 30. Great. Whoever this was, they better not be strong, 'cause all she had was a basset hound, a Vampire Pidgey, and a crappy Ponyta.

The figure gave an evil laugh and pulled off the shroud of darkness. It was…

Drumroll…

Gardenia!

Yes, the Gardenia who loves grass Pokemon from Sinnoh. The one with the funny hair and the Pokemon. Anticlimactic much?

Gardenia gave a shrill laugh and said, "You have to defeat me! HAHAHAHA! You'll never win!"

The group of four busted up laughing. Even Ren. Yes, that's how funny she looked.

"Oh, please." snorted Luxa. "A half-eaten peanut butter sandwich could beat you."

Gardenia let out a scream of rage and launched herself at, not Luxa, but Gimli. Gimli raised his axe and they had a nice little fight in the 15 seconds before as an astronomical amount of police officers showed up. The restrained Gardenia, but not before several of them had been mauled by a Cherubi and a Turtwig. Luxa and the gang slipped past them and went into the portal (Unbeknownst to them Gardenia beat the crap out of all remaining police officers except one and waited in front of the portal for someone to ambush. The one police officer slipped into the portal too).

They found themselves back at the hotel room with the awesome PC. Root noticed (unfortunately for the officer) that an officer had followed them. Before he had convinced Root of his innocence he had a rather singed bottom. Then the stupid corrupt officer noticed the PC and threatened to call his police friends if they didn't obey his every whim.

Gimli said something about bringing a friend and disappeared, leaving them to obey the police officer ruefully. Luxa was at the point of flicking him off when in walked Gimli with his friend.

It was Legolas. Luxa bit back a groan. Gimli could pass off as a human dwarf, but Legolas had pointy ears, was abnormally tall, had a bow and arrow on his back, and was dressed in full Elvish garb. The officer just stared, beer dripping from his open mouth.

"Who is he?" he finally croaked.

Luxa thought fast. "He's my, uh, boyfriend. His name's Sal." she said quickly.

Legolas looked at her. "Sal?"

"The last three letters your name backwards." she hissed.

"Oh, ok." he recovered.

Everything was looking ok until the officer said to Gimli, "Yo, dumbass, get me some food now before I shoot your dumb mouth."

In a nanosecond Legolas had an arrow to Mr. Meaner's (new nickname! Yay!) throat.

"I don't know who you are, but insult my friend again and I will kill you."

Mr. Meaner snorted. "Empty threat. Anyway, you're friend doesn't have the balls to do anything worth doing."

With a single movement, Legolas lowered his arrow and shot him…well…

Legolas gave him a cold glare. "Neither do you anymore."

And because the author is a Legolas fan, and Luxa is her OC, and because she was half-awake by the time this was dreamed, Luxa and Luxa kissed.

"This dream is awesome, but couldn't get any weirder." she murmured.

Legolas smiled before kissing her again."It could."

"How?"

"Edward Cullen could show up in a maid's outfit shouting 'I love pineapples!'" said Legolas.

They dumped Mr. Meaner the police officer into the portal where, unbeknownst to them, Gardenia pounced and had him ripped to shreds in ten seconds flat.

And some hours later, Edward came dancing into the hotel room.

The End

P.S. If you liked, you should tell me by reviewing! Review for sparkles! Review the Edward the sparkles! Review for Abraham Lincoln!


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